One of Mike's Dinner Appointments. Some delectable Bacon, Onion, and Shrimp wrapped Corn on the Cob.
There's a familiar flag. This is at a renowned fisby golf course where frisby golf "pros" come to compete from around the country.
One last picture from King's Summit. You might need to click this one to enlarge it.
posted by Travis at 7:52 PM
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Hey Babs,
This is going to be shorter than normal because I just sent you a 24-25 page love note that would have taken you your whole hour just to speed read through online. I wanted you to digest it slowly as you took the hard copy and read through it when it was convenient. You have an 11-12 page weekly letter recapping all of the Thanksgiving festivities as well as a full Turkey Bowl recap. Then you have a 13-14 page Discourse on Leadership as I promised you a weeks ago. I had a 4 day weekend, so I busted it out over a couple of days this weekend. It’s Sunday at 2:19 PM right now. I’m just sitting down to watch some Patriots/Bears football. This is going to be a good game. I’m up by 3 pts. Now in my fantasy game and feeling really good about my chances of winning this week. I’ll update you on that before this is done. I don’t have a ton to write about since I filled up 11-12 pages already. I still wanted you to get an e-mail from me though and not be left wondering what happened.
Dad and I went to Lowes yesterday and picked up a few things. I needed his help hanging my Rain Gutter. We had some big winds around Thanksgiving and they ripped my cheapo rain gutter off of my house. Well, not completely off, the whole front side gutter was hanging by a few nails on the East side of my house, but ¾ of it was dangling out there and making my house look super ghetto. So we went and got some industrial strength brackets that mount inside the gutter and then a metal strip that you nail down right into your roof. It’s actually so sturdy now, that if you fell off my roof and grabbed onto the gutter for dear life, you could rest assured that your hand strength would give out and let you fall to your death before my rain gutter would. While we were up there, we noticed just how haggard my shingles are. I should have re-done that roof a couple of years ago. I definitely have to do it this spring when I get some good weather. We had to walk around and caulk up a ton of exposed nails and some wide open cracks and valleys in the singles. It’s a miracle that I don’t have more water damage to my ceiling in my house. I had to go over to their house yesterday anyway to print off your letters because my printer is still out of ink. I just need to go get some cartridges at the office depot. I have a $25 gift card for there, so I just need to go do it. While I was printing those, Mom wanted a copy of the leadership epistle, so Mom and Dad have a copy of it too. I don’t know if they read it yet. John wanted to take a look-see too but said he started reading it and it was too deep and he wasn’t in a frame of mind to retain all the information, so he put it down for now. I told him to wait till he had a significant thanksgiving dinner blockage and knew he would be spending some quality time on the throne to tackle it. So I think he might have put it in on his turlet until he has an opportune moment. So I don’t have any feedback yet, but it was targeted toward you anyway and not really meant for other peeps. So we’ll see what you think.
Today in church, Chad Johnson gave his farewell. He gave a good talk. He went a little bit off the norm with some of the stuff he was talking about, but for the most part, it was a good talk, good enthusiasm, good speaking skills. He’ll be a good missionary. The chapel was packed. We got their a little late and ended up having to sit in the very back row of the last overflow. He joked that even though he was the last to go from all his friends, it’s OK, because it was all girls at his farewell. After Sacrament, we went to Sunday school where I was setting up chairs for my class. John Lemmon, one of my two boys in the class was in there with me and sat down. He leaned back against the curtain where his little brother was leaning against it too. His brother felt him come up against the curtain and hurried and moved I guess because John went down hard. He instantly went down hard and started panicking in pain. I he could hardly yell, but started saying My fingers, My fingers. I liked down and his pointer and middle fingers from both hands were jammed in between the metal bars of the chair on both sides. I had to lift up his hips just to get his weight off the chair. He was stuck. He couldn’t even move. If I wasn’t in there, he would have been stuck in there crying from pain until someone found him. So I lifted him up, we got the chair to finally let loose and his fingers were all crooked and bloody. It was sick man! So I told him to go wash it off and to look at it. I guess they were OK, they didn’t break, but it took his skin off of all 4 fingers pretty deep. He came back from his house with his dad and they were all bleeding through the bandages. Looked pretty nasty!! I missed the replay here on the game, but Junior Seau just broke his arm and they had a good angle on it. This game has been really physical. I’m chatting with
I just got home from Rick and Monica’s new house up in Kaysville. It’s only an hour of travel each way. So we won’t be visiting them up there again anytime soon.
So what did you do for Thanksgiving? Tell me all about it. What is the plan for Christmas? What are you doing that day and when are you calling home? We will plan our day around the call so we can be at Ma’s and Pa’s to talk to you.
Well, I have the easy win this week. I’ll send you updates in standings next week. I hope things are going well, and that you had a good T-day. Write back soon. Look forward to your mail on Tuesday or Wednesday.
Love ya and miss ya,
Trav
posted by Travis at 8:45 PM
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Mike's cat for a day. It was a stray that kept coming to their door, so they took it in and fed it and that night, heard someone calling "Kitty Kitty Kitty" so they let it out to go back home. 
A stow away lizard in the house? I bet a cat would take care of that problem.
Another turtle? They should start a turtle rescue mission.
a "Big Dog" spider that is even bigger than Elder Leavitt's big dog spider from earlier. Mike actually fed this one a small frog.
posted by Travis at 10:23 PM
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Trav’s Discourse on Leadership to his brother Mike in the 2006th year since the coming of our Lord.
And now behold, I have somewhat to say concerning the topic of Leadership. As promised, I have put together a few random thoughts on this topic since it has been on my mind more and more. I have seen some development in you just through your letters and I hear these things that your President says, what I have always thought, and I thought it might be good to put a few suggestions down on paper. Read these as mere suggestions and glean from them what you find appropriate and useful. Keep in mind as you read too that I have no expectations of titles or positions or whatever some missionaries would consider a leader. No matter the position you are in with an accompanying title, you are a leader through influence, personality, and example. Even being a young missionary, having an older companion, or wherever you find yourself. As a missionary in this church, you are a leader of people. Your purpose is to lead those who do not have a firm understanding of the gospel of Christ unto salvation. And for this purpose I have compiled a few thoughts this week for your perusal.
“Missionary work is far greater than you and I. It is more than just baptisms and goals each month, these are but a means to an end. We are preparing people to be leaders in the worlds that will follow this one. This is God’s work. Our work is to help him get people into the Church. There is no other reason for being in the mission field.”
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I will drop some quotes like this, use some examples from some of my favorite books, and maybe use a few personal examples in order to help me get my point across. However, this letter will only scrape the surface on the topic. I am but a mere pupil in the world of Leadership. I admire great leaders. I admire the ability they have to command respect and win the hearts of so many people such as our hero Captain Moroni. I love to study these leaders and see what makes them tick, see what makes them so successful in championing a cause such as the Title of Liberty. I will use examples from the lives of these to help carry a point. But like I was saying, I am by no means an authority on this subject matter, so don’t take the things I write as gospel even if I quote scripture or General Authorities. Just use what you want in your own life.
I started off already mentioning Captain Moroni with his cause he stood for in the Title of Liberty. Earlier, I told you I would use him in my little epistle here because it sounded like you would like to emulate him and I would love to see you pattern your life and leadership skills around his. So let’s dive right in to what I admire about Captain Moroni’s Leadership. When
Let’s focus on how
No wonder men such as Helaman, Teancum, Lehi, and others rallied to the cause. A leader of Captain Moroni’s stature has a plan, makes a commitment, and then, with his total will and the help of God, marches forth into battle. It is also interesting that he had to clean house among the Nephites before he moved against the Lamanites. A leader knows that unity in a cause is essential (I’ll discuss more on this later). Internal rot and disease must be removed before an army moves forth to do battle with the enemy. I am certain that
Another attribute of
One of the great things about this church is the way the Lord prepares the members of His church to be Leaders. Vaughn J. Featherstone said “The role of this Church is one of leadership. The role of the priesthood is one of leadership.” The set up of our scouting programs, the quorums we grow up through, Missions, the whole system of the church is a big, inspired succession plan. I love that about the church. I was given so many opportunities to lead my peers whether being Senior Patrol leader, Deacons Quorum President, etc. (there are too many to name here and I know you can name the same). But that is the great thing. How priceless is it to advance in ranks like this for that experience? I can’t think of a church that has the opportunities to lead and gain experience that will help you not only through your mission with it’s numerous leadership opportunities, but through life as you get into the work force. The business field is already flooded with successful Latter Day Saints and it will only increase exponentially as years go by. I can’t help but believe that the Lord has intended for this! Look at what the Perpetual Education Fund has done for so many LDS kids and where that will put them in the job market as a result. I actually wrote a lot more about the business world leadership model, but I am refrained because this will be written on my other plates which will come out of obscurity at a later date when it is more applicable. You have a long road to hoe until we get to the necessity for leadership skills in the business world.
Good leaders are shepherds, not sheepherders. I’ll explain the difference. Shepherds know their sheep’s individual voices, their personalities, their aspirations, strengths, and weaknesses. When a sheep strays, they care enough about each individual to leave the 99 and go after the one. Most importantly, they notice when one in 100 is gone or straying (John 10:14).
Sheep know their shepherd completely. Shepherds don’t need to build themselves up or play hero. It is enough that the sheep know the shepherd and trust him enough to follow him at the very sound of his voice (John 10:4). Notice that the shepherd goes before his flock and leads them. Sets the example, sets the pace, and his flock follows. That is the difference between shepherds and sheep herders. Sheep herders have to drive their sheep. Pushing, prodding, begging in order to get them to move or get things done. They have to push because they don’t know their sheep and the sheep don’t know the sheepherders. These leaders never really listened to their sheep and don’t really care about them. They care more for their wages. They are more like a hired hand. Working more from a “what’s in it for me” viewpoint. The wages they seek may be glory, honor, or the power and/or control a position bestows. Dad and I were actually talking about this yesterday after the Turkey Bowl. He had a missionary in his mission who’s dad was an AP, and all of his older brothers were AP’s on their missions. He made it clear to everyone in Dad’s mission that he was going to be AP. He never was. Dad said he must have been the dog in his family because he didn’t get the calling he aspired so hard for. The problem with his situation is that he obviously wanted it for the wrong reasons. If I were the Mission President and caught wind of some guy telling missionaries he was going to be AP because his dad and brothers were, and getting overly confident about it, I would never call him into that position. He is seeking his “wages” or honor that he feels would continue in the family by joining the ranks in his family as it were. He would be a total sheep herder because the missionaries in that mission would never trust him or follow him. These types may even aspire to a higher position or one of greater social standing for these reasons, because of these motives, rather than the genuine concern for the flock. Their voices ring hollow and are the voices of strangers. Not just sheep, but we as humans can hear sincerity, genuine concern, love. We can also hear insincerity, self promotion, selfishness, and phoniness (John 10:5). “True Leaders are inspiring because they are inspired, caught up in a higher purpose, devoid of personal ambition, idealistic and incorruptible.” (BYU Today, February 1984, pp. 19, 45) You think a sheep herder is going to stick around if a wolf comes around? He’s probably even going to throw a struggling sheep to the wolf to buy some extra time to get out of there. How often do we see that in poor leaders? But a true shepherd will defend his flock at the risk of his own safety. One more example of
Good leaders must be HUMBLE enough to admit that they can’t perform all these leadership functions by themselves. They will need others to help them initiate and support ideas, make decisions, and carry out those decisions. Some people, I won’t call them leaders, but people in a leadership position, feel like they need to do everything or may feel inclined to make all the decisions and try to do all the tasks because they feel like they’d be forfeiting some of their power to others in the team. If others don’t have any responsibility or don’t feel like they can make a valuable contribution, they are not engaged and then who is this supposed leader leading at that point? There is a theory that Stephen Covey teaches called the Abundance Mentality. Most people are actually deeply scripted in what he calls the scarcity mentality. They see life as having only so much, as though there were only one pie out there. And if someone were to get a big piece of the pie, it would mean less for everybody else. People with a scarcity mentality have a very difficult time sharing recognition and credit, power or profit, even with those who help in the production. They also have a very hard time being genuinely happy for the successes of other people, sometimes members of their own family or close friends and associates. It’s almost as if something is being taken from them when someone else receives special recognition or windfall gain or has remarkable success or achievement. They want other people to be the way they want them to be. They often want to clone them, and they surround themselves with “yes people”, or people who won’t challenge them, people who are weaker than they are. It’s difficult for people with a scarcity mentality to be members of a complementary team. They look on differences as signs of insubordination and disloyalty. I don’t think Captain Moroni had an ounce of Scarcity Mentality. I think he valued the counsel of his Generals. I don’t see Helaman, Teancum, Lehi or the others being “yes men”. That would have been a dynamic and synergistic group that would have executed just about any plan they put their minds too. The Abundance Mentality, on the other hand, flows out of a deep inner sense of personal worth and security. It is the paradigm that there is plenty out there and enough to spare for everybody. It results in sharing of prestige, of recognition, of profits, of decision making. It opens possibilities, options, alternatives, and creativity. The Abundance Mentality takes the personal joy, satisfaction, and fulfillment of what a team can do together and creates a more cohesive team unity. It creates a public victory. A public victory does not mean victory over other people. It means success in effective interaction that brings mutually beneficial results to everyone involved. Public victory means working together, communicating together, making things happen together that even the same people couldn’t make happen by working independently. A character rich in integrity, maturity, and the Abundance Mentality has a genuineness that goes a long way with everyone they interact with. Good Leaders delight to see people who have more talent than they have. They see the outstanding traits in everyone, and they use men or women where they can accomplish the very most for the cause. Compliment other missionaries often. That goes against the Scarcity mentality when you give away kudos and compliments. But as you do so, the abundance mentality kicks in, people see you for a builder, they gravitate to you, they respect you as an observer of good qualities and want to show you more. Sometimes the feedback is more constructive. You don’t always have to give kudos, but if it’s critical, make sure it’s always constructive feedback. Tom Landry, one of the most successful NFL coaches said: "Coaching is making men do what they don't want, so they can become what they want to be." If someone is doing something ineffectively or just not doing well at all and you see what the weakness is, you have to give them suggestions that will get them to be where they need to be. The patient leader is more interested in developing and training souls than in getting the job done quicker or in some other way, or by someone else. President Harold B. Lee often focused attention on one word in the Lord’s admonition to “let every man learn his duty.” (D&C 107:9) What word do you think it was? It’s let. The Christ-like life requires constant seeking and growth. Mortality provides the opportunity to gain knowledge and improve our skills. Often, the best of us mess up but then fully realize it and want to change. A patient leader will understand that often the process is as important as the result. This is definitely true in the life of every missionary. At the close of their mission, the achievement of completing a mission brings great satisfaction; however, the great blessing is the growth that was achieved after two years of various spiritual and service experiences. It was the process that was valuable, not the goal achieved. I think this is why training missionaries was more rewarding to me than some leadership callings. Training is much more of a process than a typical leadership calling, but don’t skew the lines of training and leadership. I might not have grasped exactly what my training responsibility was to my district as a DL, or what training I should have done with my zone as a ZL. My whole job as a traveling AP was training, so I finally had that concept implemented while I served in that capacity. But I think I missed the boat in those previous callings.
Try to learn and know the talents and abilities of your group and play to their strengths. Know your own strengths and weaknesses. Play to your own strengths, delegate your weaknesses. This is how church programs are set up. Talents are utilized by wise leaders and the Director of this orchestra. The Lord knows what instrument belongs where, to maximize the best performance. The more spread out responsibilities are, the more personal growth is taking place with every individual. The more participation and spread out the responsibilities are, the more faith in others is necessary. A true leader gets things done through people, thus building the entire team and accomplishing the result that much quicker. This brings us to the inevitable action of evaluating these individuals. Studies have shown that one of the four most important things in getting things done is having a standard of accountability. This is as true in organizations as it is in the church. The Lord sets up His own standard of accountability. You are held accountable to your covenants each time you go to renew your temple recommend. You are held accountable each year in tithing settlement. You are held accountable each month when you report on how your home teaching went. You are especially held accountable on a mission when you report on your stewardship for your area and companionship. I know missionaries who resent the numbers they have to report on. They try to justify their feelings by saying it’s not about numbers, it should be about the quality or something like that. However, the Lord has set up this standard of accountability for wise purposes. I will not profess to understand it all, but one reason I know for sure is that people play differently when they are keeping score. When we play tennis and we’re just warming up or hitting around, it’s fun, low key, we’ll horse around, etc. But the minute we start keeping score, it’s down to business. We are more serious about making every shot count, getting every serve in, and every point matters, right? The Lord wants us to take our callings and responsibilities just as seriously. This is the super bowl of life down here. Failure is not an option. Leaders need to help their players understand the importance of every play, down, point, shot, hit, etc. Every individual plays their own position. The Lord has spread the responsibilities around based on our abilities. We all have a position to play, an assignment, a responsibility. Whether that’s a field captain or just a lineman playing a role for now. But we are all accountable for how we perform our unique responsibility. So how do we hold our “players” accountable? Some leaders will berate people based on a poor performance. Some will become cold or give them the silent treatment for a while. But every individual needs feedback to know how their performance is stacking up. Good leaders will let them know honestly and they will have them critique themselves. Notice the temple recommend is ultimately our own judgment of ourselves. We all truly know what we can work on to improve. No one needs to be told in order to know. Good leaders let their people judge themselves and offer to help wherever they can. Joseph Smith was asked at one point how he was able to effectively lead so many people and he said, “I teach them correct principles and they govern themselves.” What an ingenious leadership principle. This is the Lords’ way. Everyone has their free agency to choose what they will do, who they will follow, and how they will act. Not even the best leaders can have 100% success rate. As a District Leader I could not convince a missionary in my District who I was friends with to stay on his mission. He made up his mind that he was going home. That broke my heart. But we do all that we can do and let them “govern themselves”. People tend to be much harsher critics of them selves than anyone can be of them. So have honest conversations when holding people accountable for their stewardship. Then show an increase of love and support for what you can do to help them achieve their goals. Let’s not forget self evaluation. Holding yourself accountable for what you should be doing. The leader is the example always when they are in front of their “flock”. But what about when you are just tracting with your companion and the conversation gets casual? Do you say things about a particular Elder or Sister behind their back? What about a former companion? Let’s take it a step further, what if it’s your companion who is sharing his opinion on a certain missionary in your District? Engaging in this kind of talk threatens credibility and makes anyone who participates in it harder to trust. Leadership is not so much a matter of techniques and practices as it is fundamental character and integrity, humility and morality. In the description of Captain Moroni’s integrity and character leaves no doubt in my mind that he never engaged or supported the kind of talk I have referred to. Just to come back to the topic of quantity and quality when discussing accountability and stewardship, these reports are good tools not only so missionaries “play differently when keeping score” but also for planning, decision making, companionship pairing and that kind of thing. But it’s also effective in creating both mutual respect, and humility alike. Both of which can be HUGE motivators. I remember being a new Zone Leader in
Leadership is not about iron fist type of control. I love Vaughn J. Featherstone’s concept of loving leadership. I will use his words precisely here… “Gentleness is a word the Lord uses to describe a necessary trait for one who would use the priesthood. Usually we think of gentleness as a womanly trait. Gentleness is inoffensive, is kind, and has a softening way about it. Think of a gentle touch until you can almost feel it. In leadership, often a gentle touch creates discipleship whereas an iron hand creates rebellion. When we perform the ordinances of the priesthood, such as administering to the sick, giving blessings, ordaining or setting apart, baptizing, or preparing the sacrament, physical and spiritual gentleness is always called for. Meekness is equally necessary. Those who are meek are absolutely submissive to God. They are modest in their dress, speech, and service. The meek readily take on the servant-leader role. Righteousness and wisdom may come from any source, even from the lowliest among those whom they lead, and the meek acknowledge and accept it. Meekness causes us to focus on principles, that is, what is right and not who is most influential. The meek feel no need to receive credit; rather they desire to give it to those who may need it. Love unfeigned suggests genuineness. There is no deceit, ploy, self-serving, spurious attitude in the person whose love is unfeigned. This is the type of love leaders must have. Those who exercise unfeigned love are authentic, genuine, natural, sincere, and honest. They do not flatter, nor do they distort.” Blanton Collier another NFL head coach who brought Don Shula up into the spotlight from being his assistant coach, said: "You can accomplish anything you want as long as you don't care who gets the credit for it." That is a great quote. It ties all of these threads together of the difference between a shepherd and a sheepherder, where a sheepherder is going to take whatever credit he can for his wages. The abundance mentality where you are giving credit and building your team, and having love unfeigned as Elder Featherstone talks about, not being self-serving.
Vaughn J. talks about a concept called Servant Leadership. It is based on a profound respect for EVERYONE. It requires leadership traits that do not demean, debase, or otherwise cause those we lead to feel inferior. Servant leadership lifts, blesses, and changes lives in a positive way. These are the traits that Servant-Leaders exercise in their roles, they:
Just when you think, wow, this is a great checklist to use and follow, he says, “True Servant-Leaders do not need a checklist of these character traits, for they live them daily.” So get to know all of these, remember them, set goals to make these points habits in your daily routine. Servant-leaders are leaders because they are servants first of all. Servant-leaders might not be properly recognized by those of greater influence and might even be ridiculed as was Jesus for healing the palsied man. Nevertheless, the people always know who the real leaders are. Ending his concept of Servant-Leaders, V.J. (I’m tight with him like that, I can call him these little nicknames since not only did I rub shoulders with him, I physically rubbed his shoulders and he rubbed mine in a little exercise he had us do of rubbing our neighbors shoulders. Since I was sitting on the stand with him as I conducted the meeting he presided, we were each other’s shoulder rubbing buddies. You might have wondered why I was quoting so much of him in this) talks about the legend of Procrustes. The legend referred to a “bed of Procrustes”. It was six feet long. Those who were not six feet tall were stretched to fit the bed. Those who were over six feet had the excess inches lopped off. Everyone was expected to fit the Procrustean bed. That is fortunately not the way of the Lord or His kingdom. He has always called uncommon men and women with great integrity, ambition, discipline, and faith in Christ. Not all will fit in the same size bed, nor will all fit into the same callings. Everyone will not, and should not, be the pinnacle leader at the ward, stake, or general church level, but everyone can make his or her maximum contributions as a servant-leader in a particular calling and circumstance. And that is all the Savior expects of us, our very best, wherever we are. There is a quote by John Wesley that goes along with that.
Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can
As long as you can.
You have many blessings promised if you do exactly that. In Mark 10:29-30, the Savior says, “There is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake, and the gospel’s, but he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life.”
While I’m dropping poems now, I’ll throw in a good one from Vaughn J. himself. He is actually quite a poetic guy. He has written several poems. This one is called the Law of the Leader:
The law of the leader is irrefutably true;
He will accomplish what others dare not do.
Where do we find the qualities to lead?
The law of the leader says examine the deed.
For a leader will always comply with the law
Of committing himself with a resolute jaw.
He is fearless, and tireless; he’s faithful and true;
He works longer and harder than lesser men do.
He breaks not a commitment and always comes through,
A “go getter,’ do better, inspired and true.
His law is to succeed whatever his cost,
For life to him in the wide world would be lost
If he dared not lead out and aid other men
To take giant strides and be heroes again.
I’m going to move into one of my favorite aspects of Leadership. That is the self fulfilling prophecy. I am a huge believer in this principle and I have witnessed it first hand. I have also tapped into its power to build people up and help them realize their true potential. From my first lesson on it, I must have been in 4th or 5th grade. I don’t know if my teacher used the term “self fulfilling prophecy”, but she told us if you tell yourself enough times a day/week/month/year that you will get straight A’s, you eventually will. If you tell yourself or if someone else tells you enough times that you are ugly, you will eventually become ugly. Just as a couple of examples. I was introduced to a more hands on example at the U of U in my Sociology class. I had always believed that concept when I heard it first in grade school. But we watched a film (and maybe you have seen it) but it’s a class of 4th graders or 3rd or somewhere in that age group. Their teacher tried a social experiment on them to test more on racial stuff. But the concept is true for a number of situations. She told every one to separate by eye color. Everyone with blue or green eyes went to one half of the room and the kids with brown eyes went to the other half. She put an arm band on the kids with brown eyes and nothing on the other kids then had them all sit down. She told the class that everyone with an arm band would be called in early from recess but the other kids could stay out later because people with blue/green eyes are smarter. You saw a distinct change in the demeanor of all the kids. To make a long story short, she did this in every situation following and gave praise to the Blue/Green eyed kids and told them how much better they were than the brown eyed kids and kept telling the brown eyed kids they were dumb and kept removing privileges from them. She began testing the kids and even though they all had the same lessons, books, and teacher, it was amazing how much better the blue/green eyed kids tested. There wasn’t a single exception to the rule. One day she came in and told the brown eyed kids to take off their arm bands and said there was a terrible mistake. She said she just found out that the brown eyed people were actually smarter and said as a result, all blue/green eyed kids would need to come in early from recess to get more help with their school work and would need to wear the arm bands. She did all the same stuff and tested them again after the same length of time. Without a single exception, amazingly, the brown eyed kids blew the blue/green eyed kids grades away. Even though the teacher was doing this more for racial/political purposes, the self fulfilling prophecy was incredible. This is one of the most important differences between a good leader and a bad one. I’m sure you have seen managers, church leaders, teachers, etc. who will cut people down in public. They will tell the person they are a failure or maybe express their lack of faith in a person behind their back to someone else. As a result, other people begin to see this person as a failure and treat them as such, creating an environment where that person could never succeed. A good leader sees people more than just what they appear. They see their potential. It’s the classic Johnny Lingo. Johnny saw Mahonna as a 10 cow wife which shocked everyone, but after the self fulfilling prophecy came true, even her family felt jipped at only 10 cows. The good leader sees a person more like that artist guy on Saturday’s Warrior that draws a gloomy, depressed Jimmy as a happy, noble stud who knows his purpose. As a leader, try to understand why people criticize, offer excuses, or take escapes. They often feel like a failure or at a loss for how to accomplish their responsibility. Your responsibility as a leader is to understand, train, educate, inspire, and help them. If you criticize, find fault, label someone as incapable, or judge them as being a “loser” or a “slacker”, is a futile activity. You will be exercising your faith in God and in that person if you believe in them and their limitless potential as a child of God. Your DUTY is to learn the process of releasing that potential. It’s different for every person. Some people are harder than others to even see their potential. So how do you do that for each unique person you may be serving as their leader? You have to listen, truly listen, and empathize with them by looking at the world through their eyes. This involves accepting people as they are, appreciating their effort, and recognizing them on work done well. Much easier said than done, especially for me I will admit. I judge much too quickly and don’t accept people for who they are if they are much different from me, but this is a very important quality in a Good Leader. Encourage their right to be individuals and to feel and act differently. You will have all kinds, up and down the spectrum who may see the world totally different from how you do. Embrace that individuality and use it to the benefit of the whole group. I found that best way to do that is to learn how to involve those types of people in planning early on. If you just lay out your goals/vision to people who see things totally differently, then you have already lost them, and along with them go their strengths and knowledge they could bring to the table. Involve them early. Get their participation and ideas and they will be invested in your cause and committed to helping you succeed, because it isn’t just your cause anymore. If you have their buy in, their ideas on how to make something work, they are equally invested, it becomes their cause too and they have just as much vested interest in seeing the cause succeed. If you have a person on your team/District/Zone/etc. that receives only rejection, judgment, criticism, you only build barriers of defensiveness, fighting, and/or bad feelings. On the other hand, if you have an attitude of respect for that person, show faith in them and their ability, you are creating the successful type of self fulfilling prophecy. That will build and help them realize their true potential rather than the type that creates a downward spiral. As Goethe put it, “Treat people as they can and should be and they will become as they can and should be.” This principle works! It’s important for you to comprehend it and use it as a leader in the mission field. It’s vital to build on that ability even after your mission. Consider the usefulness I find in using it as a Dad of an impressionable 3 year old. Or the Big Brother of two sisters who are trying to figure out life and careers, and a younger brother who has limitless potential to be the greatest of Leaders. We have had these talks on several occasions. I think you have an idea of what your potential is. Your parents see it. Your mission President sees it already. I have a knack for sniffing out potential, finding future managers and grooming them into the future leaders of organizations. I do succession planning and manager training/grooming for a living. I have taken interns and turned them into corporate big shot managers around the country and in other parts of the world. I can say honestly Mike, without any hesitation or even bias because I’m your brother… you have more potential then everyone I’ve been acquainted with so far. In fact your potential, not just in future career and leadership positions, but also in church service that the Lord has in store for you is almost scary. I’m not just dropping psycho babble “self fulfilling prophecy” mumbo jumbo on you either. Call this straight up prophecy. The commitment you made your president in your last interview as more than just idle words. For you to say you were committing right then and there to be obedient and hard working demonstrated your drive, character and what kind of committed missionary you are. Always strive to find your true potential Mike and never sell yourself short. You know who you are, but you will go on to do things that will amaze even yourself. Stay humble! Acknowledge your weaknesses. Take them to the Lord, ask for him to strengthen you and then go and “strengthen your brethren”. Remember Dad’s red night cap he gave you and its story. Always be mindful of your language and actions. You are influential in so many ways. It is a big responsibility to be mindful of every action at your age. But that story is such a great reminder when you are in a position of leadership and even before.
You don’t have to be perfect. Sure we have been commanded “Be ye therefore perfect as your Father in Heaven is perfect”. However, we are human. Moses didn’t want to take on his responsibility he was called to. He thought he was inadequate. How did Joseph Smith feel when he was so young and faced with the responsibilities he would have. It’s mind boggling thinking about these two leaders alone. Neither of them a perfect man. Yet look at what the Lord did with them. Two of the greatest Leaders this world and all of God’s children will ever know. Pray and ask Heavenly Father to help you unleash your potential. He will do it in His time. But let Him know of your availability and willingness to serve when you feel you are prepared to take on more. That may vary with you too. You have a time frame and the Lord has a time frame and sometimes they may not be in sync. But prepare yourself and then let Him know of your desires. “if ye have desires to serve god, ye are called to the work” (D&C 4:3). My heart is full with regards to this subject, especially when talking to you about it. I could go on and on. These are actually my abridged plates. But when you are prepared, you will receive a fullness of these writings. Back to my disclaimer, that I in no way profess to be an expert on Leadership or claim to know the least bit on the subject. Do not take me to be any kind of scholar or example of a true leader. Instead, look to the examples I have referenced as they are true leaders of God. Take from these examples as much as you can. Study their lives and teachings. The great thing about Leadership is it can always be improved. You can always be a better leader no matter how good you are. These leaders I have discussed are my absolute heroes and I think yours too. They all have been qualified and directed by the Ultimate example and Leader… the Living Leader of this, His true church. Jesus Christ is that ultimate example and Leader that I will always look to and follow. Let us learn and know is voice. He knows my voice and he knows yours. I testify of that, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen!
posted by Travis at 10:12 PM
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E.A.:
Before you settle in to start reading this, you better just print it out and read it at your convenience. It’s a long one. Lots of football recap, thanksgiving recap, etc.
How’s it going now that the protective wing of Elder Leavitt is not covering you anymore and you have this new companion? How do you like Elder Herbert? Give me as much detail as possible for your blog update this week. Basically, interview him and get all the scoop you think peeps would want to know. Here, let me lay out the interview and you can ask him the appropriate questions and fill them in on your next letter:
Full Name:
Where are you from? Where have you lived?:
Church Membership history:
Interests/Hobbies:
Girlfriend?:
What did he drive?:
Where has he worked?:
Music he likes:?
What areas has he served in so far?:
Something interesting/unique about him:
What he wants to do after his mission:
Get me the scoop on those and let me know in your next letter. Get some pics of him too to send home.
Thanks for sending me what your president interview went over. That was awesome to hear about. Mom and Dad ate that action up too! I of course agree with everything he said, I’m just happy to see that he has noticed that and seen that in you already. Sometimes it takes a President some time to get to know the newbies and feel them out for their testimonies, motivation levels, and leadership abilities, etc. That reminds me, I still need to whip up my discourse on leadership customized for you and your mission. I’ll get on that soon. I was going to wait till you became a DL, but I think I’ll start on that soon and assess the situation when I hear more about Elder Herbert.
Make sure to get filling up your journal soon. Don’t worry about space. I can send you a new journal anytime. I keep wishing I wrote in my journal every day. I only have like 70 pages to cover my whole mission. Man, that is a big regret. It’s so awesome to look back on the little details like investigators names, even names of families and family members that I baptized and actually forgot their names. All the details you can put in there, do it. Any feelings you have during the day or thoughts that come in your head, no matter how random, drop them in. it’s amazing when you get pondering something and write it down, you come upon a situation a week or two later and try to remember what you were pondering a while back. Going back to the journal is such a great tool because usually, that thought was put in your head for a reason. Fill that up yo! That’s going to be one of my new years resolutions this year, to write in there at least once a week. That’s adequate for a fat and lazy dad who doesn’t have all that many unique experiences outside of work and home. But for a missionary, a soldier in God’s army that’s out there on the front lines sees action every day that needs to be recorded for your sake and the sake of your family, future family and generations to come. Oh, I didn’t put day and time in here so you know what I’m doing right now. It’s 12:26 PM on Tuesday. I’m at work and should really be doing some work, rather than writing you, but it’s all good. I got a hankering and started this letter. I just did a blog update to tell everyone about your transfer news, but only saved it as a draft since I’m going to put a picture with it when I get home where I have your pictures on CD.
Oh, here is the latest in FF…
| 9 | 2 | 0 | 0.818 | 0 | W7 | 2 | 1188.5 | 0.0 | 938.5 | |
| 8 | 3 | 0 | 0.727 | 1 | W4 | 3 | 1161.5 | 27.0 | 1035.0 | |
| 8 | 3 | 0 | 0.727 | 1 | L1 | 1 | 1086.0 | 102.5 | 1000.0 | |
| 7 | 4 | 0 | 0.636 | 2 | L1 | 3 | 1054.5 | 134.0 | 1036.0 | |
| 6 | 5 | 0 | 0.545 | 3 | W1 | 0 | 1025.0 | 163.5 | 993.0 | |
| 6 | 5 | 0 | 0.545 | 3 | L1 | 1 | 1005.5 | 183.0 | 960.0 | |
| 5 | 6 | 0 | 0.455 | 4 | W1 | 0 | 977.5 | 211.0 | 1107.0 | |
| 4 | 7 | 0 | 0.364 | 5 | W1 | 0 | 1043.0 | 145.5 | 1086.0 | |
| 1 | 10 | 0 | 0.091 | 8 | L7 | 1 | 997.5 | 191.0 | 1163.5 | |
| 1 | 10 | 0 | 0.091 | 8 | L5 | 0 | 829.5 | 359.0 | 1049.5 |
As you can see, the mighty have fallen and the fall thereof is great. I’m tied record wise with Bradiators, but I’m down 102.5 pts. WHAT??!! John is a game ahead of me and so many points. He just gets better with LaDanian scoring over 41 pts. A week for the last 3 weeks. Carson Palmer racking up pts in the high 30s too and the rest of his team in the 20s. It’s Rediculous, the amount of points he’s been racking up. Well, I best be up out. I have some serious work to get done. I’ll get back to this when I get home.
Well, now it’s Wednesday morning at 8:35. I’m back to work. I just found exactly where you took that picture at Travis and
I planned my work Christmas party for Dec. 14th at 2:00 at Rodizio Grill. I scored too. My budget is $25/person and I finagled the party room at Rodizio, got the Full Rodizio meal for every person, which is all you can eat salad bar, all you can eat meat skewers as they pass around (you know how that works there, right?) and I still had enough money left over to give away over $1,000 dollars in cool gifts and prizes. It’s going to be crazy fun. I had a good time organizing it. I assembled a little Activities committee of people from each department and then we sat down, planned for Rodizio and I got on and worked the phones. This is what we came up with. I’m pretty happy about it. I’ve never eaten at Rodizio before, but I have heard all good things. I already have about $500 dollars worth of prizes, now I just need to go spend about $600-$700 more. That’s going to be a prize for nearly everyone and we have some good prizes too!! I’ll tell you how it goes and what we end up giving away after the party.
I have rounded up at least 9 peeps for our team tomorrow morning. We are all getting there at 8:00 AM and setting up the field, and warming up. I’ll make the introductions because I think if we introduce each other, people tend to not go for the highlight reels. I called Kyle and told him we changed it to 8:00 since the other team were all planning on that time. He is bringing the Monz boys. So that will be good. I called Parker, but no one answered. I left a message and he hasn’t called back. I’d be surprised if he came. But we’ll see. Oh, get this, when I called Kyle back the second time to tell him about the change in time, he told me he was sitting in the E.R. waiting to be seen for tweaking his ankle and spraining it from falling off a foundation. I told him he had to be kidding me and he said he wished he was. He was going to try to take it easy and wrap it up and try to get healed enough for the game. I think he’s still good to go, but he might be a little gimpy. We are having Suzanne’s family Thanksgiving dinner and B-day’s for Monica and Neil too. So Thursday will be a busy Thanksgiving with the game and the festivities following. Then Friday is our family’s thing over at Mom’s and Dad’s. I think Dave is eating with us too. Mom invited him to the football game, but he passed and said he was going to Sue’s and Dennis’ house on Thursday. I asked Dave if he had played some Foos with Dad and he said he didn’t even know there was a table at the house. I was pretty disappointed with Dad for not getting that option out there early on. If I had room in my house, I’d totally take the table over there. I’d put it to some good use. I’ll have to play when we go over on Friday. Well, I better get some work done. It’s a busy day at work since I’m off tomorrow and Friday, I have a lot to wrap up before the long 4 day weekend and I wouldn’t mind leaving a little bit early today either. Austin and I are going down to Lehi for an Xbox game night at 7:00 PM. I don’t want to be out too late though since I’ll have to wake up before 7:30 AM in the morning. I’ll let you know how that goes too. I’ll pick this up sometime on Thursday to update you on the game. So another bend in the Space/Time Continuum and you will know all about the Turkey Bowl. I have 24 hours to wait till we are playing. Sucks for me, cool for you! Later…
Well, the long wait is over. It’s 1:56 PM on Thursday. Happy Thanksgiving! I’m sure you are ready to read all about the Turkey Bowl. I bet Kyle writes you about it too and might send you some pics too. He was smart and brought a camera. John did too, but when he saw Kyle snapping pics didn’t get his out. I’ll have to e-mail Kyle and have him send me some pics. Actually, I just did. Here is what I just sent…
Kyle,
Thanks again for toughing through your injury and playing with us today. Thanks for bringing Tyler Monz and your other two friends. that helped a lot. We awarded you the Purple Heart award for playing as well as you did with a sprained ankle all braced and wrapped up, not to mention your too facials you took. You are a good player man, on Offense and Defense. You and Mike both tackle guys twice your size like they were nothin'. You are both beasts that way. I wish I knew that Brad's team were going to bring those 3 ringers. The Yale Row Team were freakin' good! They were super fast, could cut on a dime, and were way hard to bring down when we did catch them. If they are going to bring ringers like that, then we are bringing back Sii our big Tongan rugby player we brought last year and all his tongan rugby team buddies he can scare up for us. We'll show them ringers. At least those 3 Abercrombie models smelled good and made every tackle a pleasant experience.
Anyway, I saw you taking some pics, probably for Mike? Will you e-mail those to me too? I wanted to pass those around to the other guys. Go ahead and send those to Mike. He wants to live vicariously through us, he was way psyched for football every year. But I will e-mail them to the guys I know that came. I'd appreciate that.
Thanks again for helping to organize some guys and playing. We will miss you next year. Mike and
Talk to you soon.
Trav
So now you have a sneak preview of what I’ll recap for you. Let me actually start with last night at the game night down in Lehi. We didn’t play any Halo. It was an Xbox 360 exclusive party. So I had to split screen with
Ahhhhhhhight, I’m back. Dinner was good. We were unloading the C-RV outside the Emery’s and the Missionaries were riding by. I said Hi Guys, to them and they said hi and before I knew it, they rode back toward me and got off their bikes and asked if they could help me in with the stuff. I told them sure and handed them some stuff. They came walking in and the whole Emery family were like Uhhhhhhhh, this is a bit un-announced. Are you guys staying for dinner? They thought we had invited the missionaries in and didn’t tell them or something. It was funny. So we cleared things up and they introduced themselves and said they were from
The turkey was good and all the fixins. We had a ping pong tournament to beat all ping pong tournaments. It was determined that I was the 2nd best player in the family. Believe it or not, Ron is the best. He is good! But everyone else fell to my paddle of fury. I was throwing down some mad top spin shots and showing them what’s up. But Ron and I were in full
OK, back to football. I left off with
Travis: How are you feeling now that you've had some time to sit still for a bit? stiffening up at all? I'm still good, but we'll have to see if these pills last till morning. It's always the day after that I feel it the most.
Johnny: yea both knees hurt, neck hurts, sides hurt, ankle hurts, groin pulled.ect ect
Travis: what happened with the groin? I never saw any groin shots or strains.
Johnny: no just went on a burst run and pulled it. Plus went down funny on some body slams
Travis: you take any ibuprofen? keeps any swelling down in joints and muscles
Johnny: no goin all natural
I don’t know why he wants to brave it on his own, but whatever. He’ll really feel it in the morning. So we only had one injury the whole day and that was Dillon, Kyle’s long haired friend. Tyler Monz was chugging with a full head of steam to the end zone and Dillon was trying to block for him.
I was talking with Dad about setting up the foosball table for tomorrow’s dinner. He said he would. It needed to get all cleaned off and some silicone on the bars I guess. So we’ll get Josh and Dad, and Dave and me down there and have the ultimate tournament of Foos like we did with ping pong tonight. It will be fun! I’m going to take your last letter you wrote to me over to the parental’s house tomorrow. Everyone will be able to read it then. I think Staci has one that I haven’t read yet, so I should TXT her to stop forgetting that and bring it tomorrow. She has forgotten it the last 2 times I’ve seen her.
I was going to ask you another Doctrinal question in this letter, but I’ll wait to get your response from the first one first. See what your take on the 3 Nephites was. But I’ll still drop in your quote of the week here…
I am dropping this one because I remember my situation of taking over my first area in
“Your greatest help will come from the Lord Himself as you supplicate and plead with Him in humble prayer. As you are driven to your knees again and again asking Him for divine help in your mission, you will feel the Spirit, you will get your answer from above, your mission will prosper spiritually because of your dependence and your reliance on Him.”
-Ezra Taft Benson
Well, it’s 11:05 PM on Thursday. I best be getting this old frame of mine to bed. It’s been through the annual gauntlet I love to put it through. It’s been almost a month since I’ve had any pop and I don’t have any desire to have any real soon. But I will likely ween myself back on to it soon. I need to try to stay as healthy as possible and the pop isn’t helping. I’ll see how much longer I can and will stay off of it now that Turkey Bowl is over. It will be fun over and Ma’s and Pa’s so I’ll be sure to recap it all for you tomorrow. I’m ending this at the bottom of page 9 now. This letter is going to be a long one. I’ll have to put a warning at the beginning of this for you to print and be on your way with something else. It will take half your P-day just to read this big bounder. But that’s how I roll. I bring the love every week! Do you want me to start tapering these back? Do they overwhelm you to some extent to have me go off this much? Or do you dig it OK? Let me know. I know I can be a bit too detailed sometimes and what I write may not be as interesting to others as what I thought about it. So just let me know. I don’t want to hog up a bunch of your time on P-days. Anyway, I’m going to head to bed. I’ll continue this tomorrow.
Hey Yo. Just got back from Mom’s and Dad’s. Dinner was good.
Oh, check this out. I just checked my e-mail and got an e-mail from Troy Thrush. He just got his mission call the day after I sent my e-mail. He is going to
Hey Trav,
Well good timing on the email aye, well i just got my mission call 2
days ago. Im going to the New Zealand,
the 8th February. Yeh that will be great if ya can let mike know that
too. thanks heaps. i gotta go sorry but ill try and writa again soon.
take care,
There you have it. I’ll see if I can get addresses and stuff, but if you want me to pass anything along to him, let me know. He almost got delayed a bit on his mission. He brought a girl back with him to
Love and miss you. Keep up the hard work. Send me the details of E. Herbert and I’ll update the blog.
Love,
Trav
posted by Travis at 9:52 PM
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Mormon 8:16
